• Will Malpass

Attention Wealthy Investors!

Updated: Sep 5


Friends, this is IT! This is THE BIG IDEA all the savvy business types will soon be talking about. Not since World of Flight have I had an epiphany of such glittering magnitude. If you're a HIGH NET WORTH individual looking for a unique investment idea, I'm prepared to let you in on the ground floor of an exciting new opportunity in the multi-branding dining sector.

"What is this idea?" you ask.

Well, my eager inquisitive friend, permit me to answer you with a question of my own: Raise your hand if you like tater tots. (Pause.) Now look at your hand. (Another pause.) Is it raised? (One more pause.) I thought that might be the case!

Now imagine a restaurant that features tater tots on most of its signature menu items. Picture if you will:

  • Bacon Tater Tots

  • Home Style Tater Tots

  • Chili Cheese Tater Tots

  • Red White and Blue All-American Tater Tots

  • and even Veggie Tots

(Shh! Here's a secret: Veggie Tots are just regular tater tots. It's legit though, because tater tots are made from potatoes which are in the vegetable family. Thus: "Oh the Veggie Tots are an excellent choice, discriminating diner." Wink.)

But now envision this, my hyper-resourced new best buddy: The name of the tater tot themed restaurant is (Pause for dramatic effect.) TOT STOP. Get it? It's incredibly perfect, isn't it?

But it's about to get even perfecter! Because my extensive market research suggests 0.7% of the world's population doesn't like tater tots. So what about those weirdos? What can we serve them to get their money out of their wallets?

(Pause.) (A little longer pause.) (Long awkward pause.)

Well I guess I meant it rhetorically then. So since I'm apparently the only innovative/creative member of our partnership, I've come up with another bold idea for a companion restaurant that will be co-located with TOT STOP. The co-location means we are entering the exciting realm of multi-branding, which is a magical place where untold riches are just lying around, waiting to be scooped up in large buckets, pending transfer into my—er, our that is, numbered Swiss bank accounts!

The companion restaurant will appeal to nutritionally-minded, health-conscious diners who don't care for tater tots. These unfortunate souls deserve to give us their money just as much as the tater tot crowd. And their restaurant will feature appealing, freshly-prepared, appetizing salad. Therefore, we will call it SALAD DAZE.

No, not Salad Days. Why would we call it that?

#TheMainThing #Humor

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