• Will Malpass

World of Flight


Okay folks, today is the big day! Today I announce my super excellent innovative concept idea thing that I've been working on up there in my noggin for—gosh, I don't know, maybe...um—well, I would guess quite a while now, anyway. And this will change everything, people!

It's called—get ready, you're gonna love this—WORLD OF FLIGHT. It's a "theme park." That's a phrase the kids have started using in their "texts" to one another to describe similar venues like SeaWorld® or Disney World®. But WORLD OF FLIGHT doesn't feature silly old sea stuff or goofy (haha—Goofy, get it?) old Disney stuff! It features exhibits and rides and shows related to aviation and flight and things that have wings! It's a tremendously revolutionary breakthrough of epic proportions!

As you might imagine, WORLD OF FLIGHT has to be quite a large facility because of the vast hoards of fascinated visitors who will move in throngs through the breathtakingly-welcoming entrances perpetually.

These are just a few—just a few, mind you—of the many, many, many attractions awaiting eager admissions ticket holders:

  • Zip lines

  • Jet packs

  • Balloon rides

  • Hang glider rides

  • Aerobatic aircraft rides

  • Full motion flight simulators

  • The Animals with Wings Wing, featuring BIRDS

Naturally, it will take an enormous investment of time, effort and money—especially money—and most especially somebody else's money—to make the beautiful dream of WORLD OF FLIGHT a reality. But when I think of all the happy little children strapping into their jet packs as their delighted parents sign the liability release forms...well, it seems like it's all worth it.

(Editor's note: Any similarity between World of Flight, Fantasy of Flight, and/or the National Air and Space Museum is most likely just your imagination.)

#Humor

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