• Will Malpass

Tippy Top Secrets

Updated: Sep 5


Dear reader, just so you know, there are some people who say I'm kind of a big deal. Demographically, these people tend to be congregated near insane asylums. But that's not important right now.

What IS important is for you to understand I used to have an EXTREMELY HIGH security clearance issued by legal federal authorities of the United States of America. And back in the day I knew some super secrets that would either prove, or disprove, or add no additional insight whatsoever to, all the big conspiracies of our time and all times! Such as:

  • Roswell

  • The Illuminati

  • JFK Assassination

  • Apollo "Lunar Landings"

  • Area 51, Area 52, Area 53 and even "Just Area" (too secret to be assigned a number)

Pretty COOL, right? Yeah, I know!

And get this, lucky reader: by SPECIAL ARRANGEMENT with the Department of the Interior, the Department of the Exterior, and the Department of the Semi-Fluid Portion in the Middle, I've been authorized to share with you the tippy toppest secret of them ALL!

Obviously, I'm referring to the—hey, wait a minute! Are you by yourself right now? Oh, really? What about that guy over there? Can you trust him? I don't know...he looks sort of shady to me. Isn't that ballcap he's wearing part of the official uniform of the North Korean spy agency? No? Well, okay, I guess if you're going to vouch for him. But please ask him to put away that camera for now. Okay, let's try this again.

Obviously, I'm referring to the Tesla Singularity Generator! (or TSG, for short). Let's break it down.

  • Yes, THAT Tesla. No, not the car. Nikola Tesla, the genius.

  • A singularity is a dimensionless point of virtually infinite mass, like MAYBE would have existed at the center of so-called "black holes"—like anybody still believes in those debunked old things!

  • It means it "generates" or creates singularities.

Admit it. You've never even heard of a TSG, have you? Oh, it's a well-kept secret, my simple, naïve reader. You won't find even one single word about it in Wikileaks, for example. Go ahead, use your "internet browser" (like anybody still believes in those debunked old things!) to look for it somewhere other than right here. Nope? Thought not.

That's why it's SO VITAL you continue to read this super excellent blog The Main Thing, friend. Every time. Again and again. And again. By the way, I was just kidding about black holes being debunked—OR WAS I?

#Humor #CollectingWisdom #TSG

©2017-20 by Will Malpass.