You may have observed I am an author. Perhaps you are unfamiliar with my body of work? Please do not be embarrassed. Do not feel a crippling sense of shame that you are not well read. You see up to now, the only things I have authored are the TITLES of novels I plan to write someday. Here is a mercifully brief list of possible future Pulitzer Prize contenders.
Collecting Wisdom
Collecting Wisdom II
Faster and Funnier
The Earth Man's Song
Nooks and Crannies
The Collected Essays of Will Malpass (nonfiction)
Look, I get that #6 is not the title of a novel, okay? But it's so juicy and perfect in every way I just had to include it in my list.
