©2017-19 by Will Malpass.

Dinosaurs Are Real!

July 13, 2018

Dinosaur fans, I think I made a math error in my last entry here on THE MAIN THING, in which I claimed Dragons > Dinosaurs. (Tapping the underlined link takes you back to that blog post.) When I went back to check my work—I know, something I should have done in the first place—I discovered the correct answer was actually Dragons = Dinosaurs. 

Look at these REAL fossils of dinosaurs, friends! These are REAL! You could literally go up and touch them—but don't do it because Museum Security will escort you from the premises. Trust me on this. 

 

The primary attribute of dinosaurs that makes them just as good as dragons is their verified existence in actual reality.

 

Long ago when I was a youngster, I believed (like everyone else back in those days) that only dinosaur fossils actually existed. But then I learned that a wealthy eccentric named John Hammond had extracted dinosaur DNA from prehistoric mosquitoes trapped in amber. He established the first Jurassic Park in 1993, but eventually the park had to be closed because of so-called "safety concerns." (Gosh, it's like every time your T-Rex gets out of her paddock and eats a few people, the survivors all have a giant hissy fit!) 

 

But Jurassic Enterprises, Inc. must have hired better lawyers, because a new theme park, Jurassic World, finally opened to visitors in 2015. However, some similarly "bad things" involving dinosaurs and their dietary choices happened at Jurassic World as well. And a volcano, too. Bad luck, I guess. 

Youngsters enjoying the T-Rex in her natural habitat. Fortunately, she's on the other side of that rope line, so it's completely safe. 

 

 

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